Children Who Witness Abuse Counselling Program

Phone: 897-0511

Some children feel responsible for the violence. They may try to help by not saying how they feel and by trying to cope with the situation on their own. The effects on children who witness the abuse of their caregivers may include:

A sense of powerlessness

Poor school performance

Difficulty making friends

Low self-esteem

Delayed development

Aggressive behaviour

Stomach aches, headaches, sleep disturbances, eating disorders

Depression, anger, fear, distrust, shame

Running away from home

Alcohol and drug abuse, glue sniffing

The CWWA Program provides:

Individual and group counselling services for children aged 3 – 19 who have been exposed to the abuse of their mothers. (We provide support to caregivers of children under 3 years old.)

Information and support to the mother or other caregiver.

Groups and workshops for mothers and for grandparents who are raising grandchildren.

School-based education focusing on violence prevention.

The goal of the CWWA Program is:

To break the cycle of intergenerational abuse by focusing on the children of the family, to teach them non-violent ways of resolving conflict and begin healing the wounds inflicted upon them.

The future is hopeful for these children, if they receive the right intervention.

CWWA Counselling is not intended as a crisis response to children who are still living in the abusive situation. The abusive person must be out of the household before the child begins CWWA counselling.

The CWWA program helps children in the following ways:

To understand they are not responsible for the violence in their home.

To express feelings in a healthy way.

To recognize their strengths and improve their self-confidence.

To develop a safety plan.

Other goals of the program include exploring the myths about violence and examining the role of violence in the media and its affects on children, as well as supporting children in improving social skills and school performance. The program works to clarify the child’s understanding of their experience and to learn new coping strategies.

When children see their mother being hurt they may learn that:

Violence is OK.

Violence works to get you what you want.

Violence is a way to solve problems.

Violence is a normal part of relationships.

Any distressing feeling can be expressed as anger.

Women don’t deserve respect.

Making a decision to leave an abusive situation is a difficult and confusing process. Until a mother gets the help she needs to feel safe, the children cannot feel safe or happy knowing that their mother is being hurt. An abusive parent denies their children the right to a safe and happy childhood.

How To Help A Child Who Has Witnessed Abuse

Mothers and other caregivers can help a child by:

Letting them know the abuse was not their fault.

Letting them know it’s not their job to protect you.

Helping them with a safety plan, in case it is needed again.

Let them know that it is okay to love the abusive parent, even though they hate the abusive behaviour.

Make sure they have the opportunity to talk about the abuse. If this is too uncomfortable for you, help them find someone they can talk to.

Help them find safe ways to talk about feelings. Let them know it is normal to feel sad or angry about what has happened.

Notice the positive steps your child is taking and make sure they know that you notice.

Let them know what is happening and what to expect. They may feel worried about your safety and need to know when you will return home if you go out.

Get support for yourself. It takes lots of patience to parent a child who is reacting to having witnessed abuse.

With Thanks to Interventions with Children Exposed to Domestic Violence, BC Children’s Hospital, 2005